What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
