Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
