i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
