apparently the secret to your success is patron
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Text me some of your sweat
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
