I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
