Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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