and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
someone owes me an orgasm
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
