i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
