Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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