"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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