Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize