i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
