i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i think i have herpe
just one?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
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