We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
