if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
