what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
