It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
