return my video game
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
