You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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