I showed him my bush... on skype.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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