And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize