I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
