The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
