i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
