What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
