They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
