Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
