i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
