Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
