I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Randomize
