You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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