so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Boobs are out for the taking
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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