a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
he puts the penis in happiness.
This house was built for laser tag.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
