ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
