I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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