the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
