You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
