At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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