READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
