So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
