Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
