im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
