I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I have already put on my inside pants.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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