I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
