Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
