found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
