I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
