would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
