when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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