not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
