He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize