Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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