I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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