She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
