Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
