That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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