Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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