nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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