I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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