I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
