glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
