I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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