Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
