I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
