Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
